No eggs.

This morning I wanted an egg sandwich to go with the bacon I had pre-cooked the other day. After assembling most of the team, I realized I had no eggs.  This was troubling.  I can't just make a bacon sandwich...can I? Surely not.  That would be careless.
I glance over to the fruitbowl and I see fresh tomatoes. Bacon and tomatoes? Wait! That's mostly a thing. Now I just need some lettuce, which we happen to have in stock, and I'm good!
Rye bread goes into the toaster, tomato sliced (not too thick), cheese sliced, bacon warmed in microwave. It's all coming together.  Now I just need...oh crap.
I didn't even need to look in the fridge to know that we were out of mayo. I had used the last of it some days ago when making lunch for the kids.  I've been to the store a few times since then, but had forgotten to pick it up.  A couple of times, Tannis had even called me to ask "Do we need anything from Safeway?" on her way home.  "Nope!", I'd exclaim cheerfully, "We're good!".
No we're not. People who are 'good', have mayonnaise.
Then I had a thought.."Why can't I just make my OWN mayonnaise?"
Sure, it's a little ambitious to be whipping your own mayo on a Wednesday morning before work.  But we had all the usual suspects lined up for a BLT, so my path was forged already. I just needed to walk it.
For those of you who read Encyclopedia Brown as a child, this is the point in the story where the question would be posed:

"Why is Bugs Meany lying when he says he can make his own mayonnaise this morning?"

Some of my more astute and observant readers have already forseen what is coming.  I didn't. I opened the door of the fridge to grab some eggs and...Nooooooo!
I remembered too late that the reason I was making a BLT in the first place was due to my lack of eggs.  Oh well.  I rumaged through the salad dressings and found something other than Ranch that was creamy.
So, what did I learn today? When life gives you lemon poppyseed dressing, use that instead of mayo.