For the sake of my country, I will stop watching the Olympics.

At least when Canada is competing.  It feels like I am something of a pox for the Canadian athletes.  More often than not, when I am watching the telecast of an Olympic event, our team loses.  Oh sure, you could argue that there are others who are watching as much of the Olympics as I am and this surely can't be my fault.  But I present for your assessment the following scenario. Sunday's hockey game between the American and Canadian men.
Spectators had barely taken their seats when USA pumps one in the net.  Crap. Thinking I had time to run upstairs at tend to the seasoning of the broiling chicken wings, I leave the room and head to the kitchen, only to hear that the Canadians have scored.  Good news, but what the hell?  Why am I not allowed to see that?  So I return to my seat only to witness a short time later a goal by the Americans.  This continued as the game progressed. Leave the room to make dipping sauce for shrimp, Canada scores, return to my seat, Brodeur flops.  I still regret not leaving the room during that last ditch effort by Canada at the end of the 3rd period.  I may have been the reason we didn't tie it up.
Although, I am watching the live feed as I type this, and I see Canada's Ashleigh McIvor has won the gold medal in Ladies Ski Cross!  Woohoo!  So maybe I can be a spectator.  But I will only use the Internet.  Maybe it's the inherent time delay that saves our athletes from my bad mojo.

Does it HAVE to be a civet cat?

Every time I make/drink a bad cup of coffee, I am reminded of civet coffee.  It's an odd relationship, because from what I have heard, civet coffee is quite delicious.  Despite the fact that it is made from cat shit.
For those unaware, civet coffee, or Kopi Luwak, is made from beans that have been passed through the digestive tract of a civet cat.  And no, this is not akin to sausage making, where the tract is removed, prepared and washed beforehand.  The cat eats the beans, and then an appropriate amount of time later...poops the beans out.  The beans are harvested and presumably washed, roasted, and ground for coffee.
As with many foods (black licorice, prairie oysters, haggis, human placenta) I'm sure that the early adopters of these items were unable to find any other food, or were completely insane.  I mean, what circumstance would cause someone to pick through cat shit to get their morning fix of coffee? 

[Somewhere in Africa] [interior kitchen] [morning]

"Dammit! Honey, Fluffy got into the coffee again!". 
"Well you better figure out something, jackass.  Because if I come downstairs and there isn't coffee, I'm gonna smash your Xbox!"
..later...
"Coffee's good. How come you're not having any?"
"Er... I had mine already"


My question is...why does it have to be a civet cat?  Why do I have to wait for my shipment of 80-200 dollar per pot coffee.  I want to set up my own Kopi Luwak coffee business right here in Canada.  I'm sure it could work.  I would just need somewhere to keep the cats because my wife isn't particualrly fond of cats.  And everything I know about her tells me she would not be ok with a dozen or so cats walking around the house wearing diapers.  Although I think extracing and washing the beans would be an excellent craft for the kids in her home daycare.  So I suppose I could start small.  Perhaps have someone board the cats for me.  But that creates a staffing issue.  I suppose I would be obligated to pay this person for their time. This is cutting in to profits. 

My neighbor has a cat.  Perhaps on one of the cat's trips into my yard I could jam a few beans into her.  Then, when she comes back to poop, (and trust me, she will) I simply harvest the bounty.  Full profit!